After ten years of marriage, the mertua stops asking when you will have a second child. After fifteen years, she starts defending you against her own son. After twenty years, when you are sick, she is the one making you bubur ayam at midnight.

Forget reality TV. The most-watched show in millions of households happens daily over a cup of sweet tea, a plate of fried tempeh, and the passive-aggressive question: "Kok kurus begini? Mertua tak kasih makan?" (Why so thin? Your in-laws aren't feeding you?)

5 out of 5 passive-aggressive compliments. "You're so brave to wear that color." – The Mertua.