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I put my head on his chest. No heartbeat. But listen closely: a low, distant roar. An engine. A track. A lap that never ends.
Sam taught me this from his racing magazines. “In the wet, Duke,” he’d say, scratching behind my ear, “the driver who finds grip wins. Not speed. Grip.” When Sam couldn’t walk to the bathroom anymore, I lay beside his bed. He gripped my fur. I gripped his hand. That was our traction. index of art of racing in the rain
Not the weather. The feeling. When Sam’s wife left, she did it on a sunny Tuesday. But the real storm arrived three days later, when Sam poured his whiskey down the sink and cried into my neck. Rain is grief wearing a different name. I put my head on his chest
My hips ache now. I am old. Sam is older. But last night, I dreamed I was a puppy again, running through an infinite green field. Sam was young, too, laughing, holding a wrench. He wasn’t fixing a car. He was fixing the light. An engine
“Ready?” he said.
That’s when I started my index.
When I opened them, I was no longer a dog. I was a boy, standing in the sun. And Sam—young, whole, smelling of oil and grass—tossed me a tennis ball.
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