-eng- Sleeping Cousin -rj353254- May 2026

But every summer since, when the magnolias drop their petals and the air grows thick and heavy, I think about that porch. That silence. That impossible, sleeping closeness. And I wonder if she remembers whispering those words, or if the dream swallowed them whole.

A loon called across the water. Long and low and sad. Lena’s fingers twitched, then curled slightly, as if she were holding onto something in a dream.

Not because she was beautiful, though she was—the sharp line of her jaw, the dark fan of her lashes, the slow rise and fall of her chest. But because she was there . Unaware. Unguarded. Sleeping people exist in a different dimension, one where they cannot see you looking, cannot catch you staring. They are utterly vulnerable, and that vulnerability is a kind of power you steal without permission. -ENG- Sleeping Cousin -RJ353254-

My cousin, Lena, was two years older, three inches taller, and infinitely more dangerous than me. She spoke in fragments of French she’d picked up from old movies, wore a silver ring on her thumb, and could hold a cigarette in a way that made the act of burning tobacco look like philosophy. Our families had rented the same lake house for a week, a truce disguised as a vacation, and on the third night, the power went out.

I did not move. I did not breathe. I simply sat there, her fingertips resting against the bone of my knee, and felt the terrible, exquisite weight of being this close to something I could never have. But every summer since, when the magnolias drop

The night was thick and wet. I could smell the lake, the citronella candle that had burned out hours ago, and something else—her shampoo. Coconut and something green. I watched the dim light from a distant dock play across her face. In sleep, the sharpness in her eyes was gone. The mocking tilt of her mouth had softened. She looked younger. She looked like a stranger.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Because the moment I spoke, the spell would break. She would wake, and the knowing would begin, and the summer would become something I had to apologize for. And I wonder if she remembers whispering those

Her fingers were warm. Light as a fallen petal. She didn’t pull away. She didn’t open her eyes. In that half-dream state, perhaps she thought the chaise was wider, or that the warmth beside her was just the memory of a body.