And Irina. Show 1 - Daphne

(without looking up) If you rotate that apple one more time, I’m going to film it and put it on the internet. Title: Woman Declares War on Produce.

(laughing despite herself, reaching for the coffee cup) I hate this show. Daphne And Irina. Show 1

It’s a Gala, Irina. Not an apple. Galas have symmetry. Red is at 2 o’clock. Green is at 8. This is basic fruit cartography. (without looking up) If you rotate that apple

Welcome to Daphne and Irina . Show one. We have no plan. We have no producer. And we are definitely not okay. It’s a Gala, Irina

Fruit cartography. You’ve lost your mind. (She finally looks up) What’s the theme of today’s show, by the way? Last week was “Do I have a personality, or just good taste?” The week before was “Is my ex a narcissist or just French?”

No, you don’t. You love it. Because for once, you’re not the one writing the script.

Finally. Something you’re bad at.