Sam snorted. “They’re amateurs . We haven’t had a working dishwasher since 2019. We just spray plates with the hose.”
Ollie raised his spork. “I propose we become better Savages. Not the fake TV kind. The real kind. We build a functioning trebuchet. We start a neighborhood fire-watch co-op. We finally teach Dad how to use the streaming remote without calling me in from the backyard.” complete savages netflix
In the cramped, flickering-blue-light cave of their living room, the three Savage brothers—Sam, age sixteen and perpetually annoyed; Finn, age fourteen and perpetually sticky; and Ollie, age ten and perpetually constructing siege weapons out of couch cushions—watched the Netflix loading screen spin. Their father, a well-meaning but perpetually overwhelmed single parent named Mark, had stumbled upon Complete Savages during a 3 a.m. infant formula run twenty years ago. Now, in a moment of nostalgic desperation, he’d declared a family movie night. Sam snorted
Sam looked up. “And the kids?”
Finn nodded solemnly. “And we never lost a younger sibling in a dumpster. Ollie lives in the dumpster every other Thursday. Recycling day.” We just spray plates with the hose
A long silence. Then Finn whispered, “That’s a low bar.”