Blackadder Monster Sex 05 -

Count Edmund Blackadder, Lord of the Carpathian Vale and a vampire of impeccable sneer, had three great loathings: sunlight (fatal), garlic (vulgar), and sentimentality (utterly unbecoming of an apex predator). For four centuries, he had navigated the treacherous waters of the undead aristocracy with cynical grace, dispatching rivals, evading vampire hunters, and maintaining a cellar of exceptionally well-aged O-negative. Love, he often remarked to his put-upon familiar, Baldrick, was a chemical error corrected by a good staking.

His unbeating heart had just given a very inconvenient lurch . Blackadder Monster Sex 05

Baldrick, watching from the shadows, nodded sagely. “See?” he whispered to the stuffed raven. “Told you. Even monsters need a turnip.” Count Edmund Blackadder, Lord of the Carpathian Vale